Thinking Less, Doing More

“We can do no great things, only small things with great love” Mother Teresa

     After launching this blog last week I was pleased with the initial response.  It was heartening to see that many were reading, considering and cheering on this new project that is becoming more meaningful to me every day.  With each new email, contact, comment, and phone call I have the opportunity to refine my purpose, and to reflect more thoroughly on my mission.  And I remind myself daily to “ask a better question.”  

     How can we live in this increasingly chaotic and confusing world where we seem to be connected with everyone, everything, and every world tragedy by a single computer keystroke, yet feel more isolated than ever?  How can we know what we know about the world’s many problems and not get bogged down in apathy and despair? How can we instead find more meaningful and even nourishing ways of connecting with each other and possibly creating positive change in our own small spheres?  

     As I’ve spoken to people about being featured in this blog I hear a recurrent theme of not being good enough, not able to do enough, and being unsure of having a light focused on what small things they are doing. “Why don’t you interview so and so?  She’s doing so much more than I am.” Or “You really need to talk to that person, he’s the real powerhouse in the community.”  What I envision for this project is to celebrate what the average, ordinary person is able to do. The person who is you, who is me, who is your next- door neighbor, and who is also the stranger you will never meet. All doing things that someone else would likely be pretty darn impressed with!

     When we consider what or who makes a difference in our lives, in profound ways, chances are it is not an organization with a multi-million dollar budget and a large staff with a recently redesigned logo.  Chances are it is someone who took the time to sit, look into your eyes, and carefully listen while you talked, during the time of your deep personal struggle.   It might be someone who made it possible for you to keep your utilities connected. Or it could be that patient loving person who volunteered in your child’s school week after week.  It might be the person who sent care packages to your nephew when they were serving in the military. Or the one sat with your family member in the hospital as part of a volunteer chaplain program. I believe we have all received love and care from the hands and hearts of strangers and also that we are all capable of giving that same love and care to others.  Let’s celebrate our stories here!

     One such story I would like to share here is an email from my sister-in-law Josie Lowery. I have known Josie for a relatively short time and because she lives far away and our paths have seldom crossed our journey as friends and sisters has been slow but deep and I have grown to appreciate her wisdom, her feistiness and also her quiet strength in dealing with chronic pain in the wake of a serious motorcycle accident four years ago, shortly after meeting my brother.  Josie’s life was changed in enormous ways in the wake of this accident and I didn’t realize quite how much until receiving this note in response to Finding Hope several days ago:

“This is awesome Felicia,

I love the strong powerful voice you have. Look what an impact you can make! And you are right. We have the power to make that change in the world, one home, one blog, one connection at a time. My old thinking was always on the grand corporate scale, and it doesn't have to be to make a difference.

You spoke of so many things briefly that were ah ha moments for me and many people I think.

Leaving Microsoft after this accident turned my world upside down. Everything that I was is now opposite. Loud to quiet. Hard to soft. Extrovert to introvert. Losing a lot of my vision as an artist in a digital world has limited my connecting ability. I think it’s gutsy for you to put up a blog.  Was it scary, thrilling or both to hit the publish button and go live?  

Seriously, it would be easy to be depressed over everything that has happened since the accident.  I've cycled through all the stages of grief and anger and even added a few more.

Then I surrendered.

I was reborn a child. I felt light. I took it literally and wore pale colors instead of my old uniform of black clothing and dark nail polish. Instead of thinking, I feel. My body decides what direction I take. Sometimes I am unsure why a direction is needed, but my body always protects me.

It knows I need compartments. Physical pain is as real as emotional pain maybe more for those with PTSD. As a protection device, my body sends me on missions when I need to stop thinking which creates emotional pain spirals.

Now that I’m coming to terms with the idea, I can’t be fixed, at least for now, I want to manage chronic pain cycles better. My body has created compartments. We use my talents for good when I need to protect my brain and stop thinking.

I've always been a humanitarian and helping others makes me feel good.  In the past I was used to regularly making a big difference for many people.  Now I can spend time with one person at a time, for example sharing art with a child, or sitting with a widow who is lonely or sad.  I find I can use my skills and experiences in different ways than before.

This is what we call a win-win. Good endorphins offset pain, I enrich someone's life, and my body kept my mind focused on the positive.  All of these help me manage pain cycles better.

So, my body has a plan and I'm just along for the ride.

Signed,

Thinking less, doing more

Thank you Josie for gifting the world with your compassion and love every day and for being a model of “thinking less and doing more.”

Let’s have a conversation with each other, here on the blog, or send me your ideas for individuals or organizations that you would like to see spotlighted here. 

Namaste,

Felicia