Joan Driedger Boldt
“Compassion is
a verb.”
Thích Nhất Hạnh
“Too often we
underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an
honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential
to turn a life around.”
Leo Buscaglia
My first memory of Joan at work
with her clients took place at the church we both were attending about
seven years ago. She sat
with two middle-aged adults near the back of the small sanctuary. They were happy, and then they were
curious, they were sad, and then they were hungry. They forgot to modulate their voices for church, sometimes
speaking quite loudly in tones unfamiliar to many of us. They made odd sounds. Joan, never missing a beat, answered
questions, got snacks, and took care of whatever needs arose, providing gentle
and firm support to both of her clients, but never asking them to leave the room. Later when questioned on whether it was
wise to bring adults with developmental disabilities to our church, she said
simply that they needed church, and also that church needed them. I gave an inner cheer and have never
stopped cheering for my dear friend as she joyfully goes about her daily work
mindfully caring for a number of persons with disabilities of all types.
Joan Driedger Boldt, who thinks of
herself as “Just Joan,” was born on the prairies of Saskatchewan, Canada and
then raised six children while helping to run a 40 cow dairy and grain farm. She is a trained social
worker who finished her Bachelors degree as her children grew older, all the
while homeschooling, actively farming, and being active in her community. After spending some time in voluntary
service with the Mennonite community in Tucson, Joan discovered that she loved
it here and returned, on her own, in 2006 to live permanently and make Tucson
her home. She loves a lot of things about her Arizona home: dancing, doing anything in the brilliant desert sun, biking the length and breadth of Pima county, spending time with many friends and family, and lately entertaining an endless stream of "couch-surfers" people from around the globe who come to stay and enjoy Tucson from Joan's warm and comfortable home. I've known Joan since the day she landed in Tucson and have always been struck by her generous open-hearted nature and particularly how she treats every person she meets with uncommon kindness and love, inviting one and all into her home, her life, her heart.
Joan and Felicia celebrating their May birthdays 2013
She works primarily for two
different agencies. Southern
Arizona Family Services (SAFS) which provides in-home support for those with
physical and mental disabilities, as well as the elderly. SAFS also provides a community based
day program for it’s clients where they can participate in group activities
along with their caregivers for enrichment and social experiences.
Zimmerman’s Personal Agents
provides personal companions for elders who need assistance attending
activities including but not limited to: dinner out, University of Arizona
Basketball games, shopping excursions, the theater, the symphony, the opera, as
well as doctor’s appointments and more.
Because many of these visits occur with hired transportation, Joan
jokingly refers to this work as her “limo-ladies” and has developed long-term
loving relationships with many older women as they share good times and
laughter together experiencing the best of Tucson.
Anyone who gets to know Joan very well will notice
that she often has a client or two with her. “One thing that is especially rewarding is that I can bring
my ‘work’ with me” she said. For
example two of Joan’s long time clients who have come to feel like family for
her and they frequently accompany her throughout town and on various errands. One client adores swimming so Joan will make the extra effort
to take him to friends’ pools as
often as possible. Everyone love’s
going out to eat so trips for doughnuts
and coffee are a special treat and an added benefit is that her clients get to
know the regulars there for special times of conversation and connection. Bowling, the zoo, many different restaurants, even a hockey
game have been destinations for Joan and her clients. When doing respite care Joan will include her clients in dinner plans with friends and
family, or even small parties with her other friends. In
her world, everyone is lovable, everyone has a place at her table, everyone
makes a contribution.
Joan at her Tucson home
Joan also sponsors a weekly cooking
class for the SAFS clients and caregivers in the day program at her home, which is
respite certified by the state. One of her personal clients attend and up to 10 additional client/caregiver pairs
attend as well. Each week one
client chooses the menu. Quesadillas, Spaghetti, Enchiladas, Pizza are all
popular but anything is possible.
The group meets before hand at a local grocery store and all participate
in purchasing the meals ingredients. “We have a great time, it’s like a parade!” said Joan. The group then meets at her home and begins cooking. For some clients this afternoon is simply an enriching activity, for
others it is skill building for more independent living. Once a month delicious
treats are created for those who have birthdays that month.
Joan has been a strong voice at
SAFS for creating, implementing and most importantly keeping the momentum going
for fun and enriching programs for many clients there. Zumba, a Latin dance based aerobics
program, is wildly popular with the day program clientele and the wonderful teachers at Animas studios have been instrumental at energizing these students; Yoga had a shorter
run but impacted several people in a positive way. Joan feels it is important
that every person have the opportunity for growth and enjoyment and does her
best to encourage this both in her personal clients and those in the wider
programs she works with.
When I asked Joan to talk about some of the rewarding parts of being a care-worker she discussed the challenges of working with persons who were exhibiting difficult or inappropriate behaviors. Often times it is easier to either give in or to remove a person who is acting out, something many of us have experienced as parents. She feels that the more loving thing to do is to stay present with the person who is acting out and to hold them to a higher standard, to have higher expectations and to show faith that they are up to the task of "behaving like a lady or a gentleman." When disappointments or failures occur as they sometimes do Joan gently helps her clients to "get back on the horse" so to speak so they can experience success. She recounted a number of stories to me in which a client faced her worse fears over great resistance, and then happily bragged about her victories for weeks afterwards. It is not easy to take this path, but I have personally witnessed Joan following this approach many times and wondered at both her faith and her resilience. "It's our job as caregivers to find creative ways to help our clients get through periods of bad behavior so they can enjoy doing activities that enrich their lives" she says, noting that she relies heavily on the mothering skills she learned raising six children!
When asked about the hard parts of her work she said that of course having clients that she adores die, in the case of her "limo-ladies" is very sad. Overall, though it's "hard, but good, life and work are all mixed up, and very integrated for me. I feel that this job is such a good fit for me. As a social worker I was trained to have very strict boundaries. This work is different, the boundaries are more fluid. I have found that I relate best to people as a community member and as a friend. My parents were big picture people who created programs, dealt with governments, changed policies and tried to save the world in big ways. It has been hard for me to see that there were other ways to do good in the world. I've come to realize I'm best at making the world a better place, one person at a time."
Thanks for being a light in the world Joan.
Please send your thoughts, comments, and stories. Do you know someone that you would like to see highlighted here? Is there something you're thinking about that you would like to share? I'm collecting letters and sometime in the future will do a "finding hope in your letters" blog. So please keep sending emails. We really can support each other in creating a hope-filled community based on kindness, generosity and peace.
Namaste,
Felicia
Links from this blog:
When I asked Joan to talk about some of the rewarding parts of being a care-worker she discussed the challenges of working with persons who were exhibiting difficult or inappropriate behaviors. Often times it is easier to either give in or to remove a person who is acting out, something many of us have experienced as parents. She feels that the more loving thing to do is to stay present with the person who is acting out and to hold them to a higher standard, to have higher expectations and to show faith that they are up to the task of "behaving like a lady or a gentleman." When disappointments or failures occur as they sometimes do Joan gently helps her clients to "get back on the horse" so to speak so they can experience success. She recounted a number of stories to me in which a client faced her worse fears over great resistance, and then happily bragged about her victories for weeks afterwards. It is not easy to take this path, but I have personally witnessed Joan following this approach many times and wondered at both her faith and her resilience. "It's our job as caregivers to find creative ways to help our clients get through periods of bad behavior so they can enjoy doing activities that enrich their lives" she says, noting that she relies heavily on the mothering skills she learned raising six children!
When asked about the hard parts of her work she said that of course having clients that she adores die, in the case of her "limo-ladies" is very sad. Overall, though it's "hard, but good, life and work are all mixed up, and very integrated for me. I feel that this job is such a good fit for me. As a social worker I was trained to have very strict boundaries. This work is different, the boundaries are more fluid. I have found that I relate best to people as a community member and as a friend. My parents were big picture people who created programs, dealt with governments, changed policies and tried to save the world in big ways. It has been hard for me to see that there were other ways to do good in the world. I've come to realize I'm best at making the world a better place, one person at a time."
Thanks for being a light in the world Joan.
Please send your thoughts, comments, and stories. Do you know someone that you would like to see highlighted here? Is there something you're thinking about that you would like to share? I'm collecting letters and sometime in the future will do a "finding hope in your letters" blog. So please keep sending emails. We really can support each other in creating a hope-filled community based on kindness, generosity and peace.
Namaste,
Felicia
Links from this blog:
Thanks for such an inspiring post! It's true, Joan is pretty amazing!
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