Sharing Hope, One Bead at a Time

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened.

Happiness never decreases by being shared.

-Buddha

     I’ve been a yoga teacher for almost seven years now and it’s probably safe to say that I’ve had over a thousand students cross my path.  It’s also true that I rarely forget a face or a story, although the chances that I’ll remember a name are getting slimmer.  But there are those students whose presence in my life and heart becomes so powerful that I have to wonder who is the teacher and who is the student?   I met Michelle “Sue” Woodall at the University of Arizona (UA) Cancer Center the summer of 2009 in my yoga class for those touched by cancer.  Sue, who attended class faithfully with her friend Pat, had been diagnosed in 2007 with stage 4 lung cancer.  When diagnosed, she had a collapsed lung, and was told that she was terminal and there was no hope.  Because Sue was a feisty and positive person with a supportive and loving family as well as many friends at her side she chose to fight this diagnosis and try a relatively new treatment utilizing pinpoint radiation and was able to restore much of her lung function.  She continued to receive chemotherapy and went on with her life, getting the “all clear” in 2009 with very little non-metabolic cancer remaining.

      Receiving a cancer diagnosis can be a special kind of hell and those undergoing treatment not only cope with the disease, but also many side-effects that can often feel worse than the illness itself. Many patients spend one or more days a week at the cancer center some for many hours as they weave their way from doctor’s appointments to laboratory tests to the infusion room where chemotherapy is administered or to the radiation treatment areas. A patient’s companions and family members are also walking along side their loved ones on the seemingly endless road to healing and the days can be long.  Often depression, anxiety, and fear can accompany this journey.

     In 2010 Dr. Weiss, a physician at the cancer center, who knew of Sue’s beading interest, suggested that she start a beading project for the other patients.  She readily agreed but had no ideas, and no plan and more importantly, no funding. So, along with her daughter Connie Joslin, who was living nearby, she began showing up on Monday mornings from 9:00am-12:00pm with a box of her own beads and a willingness to serve.

     Sue had been a school- teacher for 40 years in the Amphi district middle-schools so she knew a few things about making things happen and also about wrangling people. Connie has reflected to me that this project was Sue’s “baby” that she loved it with a great passion and was able to use her greatest teaching skills in this setting.  The maintenance crew would set up a few tables and Connie and Sue would bring beads and tools, sit down and start beading.  When a patient or family member stopped by they would offer supplies, gentle encouragement, a listening ear, and a place to wait in-between chemotherapy treatments, doctor’s appointments, and radiation. 

      I sat with Connie and her friend Sue Barrett (“Sue B.”), also a cancer survivor, who participates weekly in the beading project, for a few delightful hours last week at their shared home to talk more about Sue’s beading project.  And I would like to share this with you now.  

     Initially Sue, Connie and Denise, Sue’s Daughter-in-law, bought, begged, and borrowed, beads for the project.  They began to scavenge for costume jewelry at garage sales, estate sales, second-hand stores and to contact friends for unused pieces. Connie says that she spent many hours at her kitchen table carefully taking pieces apart so that patients and their families could create one-of-a-kind pieces of jewelry for themselves or their loved ones while they waited for treatment.

     Eventually UA established a budget for the Beading Project that has continued to grow in popularity.  Many people, both patients and they’re companions came to the beading table on a regular basis. “Beading can show them another part of themselves that is not defined by cancer, or by drugs, another part of themselves that is creative, beautiful, and can be enlightening” Said Connie.  Many patients, after developing some basic design skills, make gifts for their friends and family members.  Many folks will come to the beading table, start a project, go to their treatment or doctor’s appointment and then return later to finish their project. In the end though, it’s not just about the jewelry being created, it’s about relationships and building trust with others who know what you are going through, says Sue B., “Beading can create a change to bond with others who are going through similar things” and this can make all the difference.

      The project took a big hit, when Sue died in August of 2012.  Her lung cancer had resurged and not even this pure brightly lit soul could beat it.   It happened quickly and those of us left behind were stunned and heartbroken. It didn’t seem possible that one so filled with hope, optimism, love, kindness, joy, and peace could be taken.  Personally, I had experienced a true and unconditional love from Sue, the kind that we feel so rarely in this world.  Sue was one who helped me feel both lovable and worthy and I knew that she did this for every person that crossed her path. There is no greater legacy than this.  When she died there were a number of us, her friends and family, who felt desolate.  I, for one, did not want to continue teaching my yoga class without her laughing Buddha like presence.  However, at the memorial service we had for her, I could feel her pushing me from beyond.  At the next few classes a remarkable thing happened. New people who had never met Sue flooded into the class “This class has such a good feeling”,  “I heard about this class, a woman named Sue told me about it”, “Thank God you are here, I really need this class right now”, “The beading lady told me to come try yoga”.  We continued on, smiling beneath the tears, but knowing that our mission to support persons with cancer was needed more than ever.

     Meanwhile, the Beading Project also had it’s faltering moments without Sue’s leadership and was temporarily shut down while new volunteers became “official” in the eyes of the UMC organization, necessary, but not necessarily easy.  It was tough especially for Connie who was grieving her mom intensively.  But she knew it was important both for her own healing, and also for the patients and their families who had grown to depend on this Monday morning project. Connie was able to resurrect the Beading Project primarily with the help of Harriet Hutchins, who had been one of Sue’s dearest friends for over 35 years and states that she wouldn't have been able to do it without Harriet (pictured below).

 Although they were able to keep the beading doors open, the dedicated funding had ceased so they were back to searching high and low for any spare bead to keep the project afloat. But Connie, Harriet, Kris Meyer, Connie’s husband Tim, and a number of other’s felt it was important to honor Sue’s legacy and to serve the patients who would  continue to need love and care through their illness and treatment. 

     Why do people love this project so much that it has grown from one table and a few people to many tables and a veritable horde some weeks?  According to Connie, “Beading helps people take their minds off their treatment and everything they’re going through.  It gives them shared camaraderie.”  Sitting at the beading table can give a conversational opening that sitting in a waiting room chair wouldn’t.   “Beading can be a safe outlet for expressing what you’re going through, or even an escape.”

     Connie mentioned that when she shares time with those in treatment that she always emphasizes their healing, the present moment, and that she will see them next week.  I know that Connie would love to see you next week too. 

For more information on how to donate beads, money or your skill and expertise to the Beading Project please see the information below.

Have a wonderful hope-filled week,

Namaste,

Felicia

To Donate Beads, Beading Supplies, or Gifts of Money to the  UA Cancer Center Please:

1)   Drop off CLEARLY LABELED beads and supplies to the front desk of the cancer center for Beading Project,  Attention:  Lynn Barwick  If you are someone who loves to frequent thrift shops and garage sales, please keep this project in mind!

      University of Arizona Cancer Center

      3838 N. Campbell Avenue

      Tucson, AZ  85719

2)   To donate gifts of money to the Beading Project please send checks made out to Lynn Barwick with “Beading Project”  clearly written on the check, and include a note stating your intention for funds to be used for this project.

      Lynn Gransie Barwick, LCSW

Oncology Social Worker
University of Arizona Cancer Center
3838 N. Campbell Avenue
Tucson, AZ 85719
(520) 694-1855

3)   Send prepaid gift cards from Tucson area stores that sell beads and beading supplies, Michaels, Joann Crafts, and other retailers to Lynn Barwick, again noting clearly in your correspondence that these are intended to be used for the Beading Project. 

4)   Office Supplies are always needed too: Sharpies, plastic storage bins with lids, tape, etc. 

5)   Show up on a Monday morning to participate or find out more how you can help.  Ask for Connie Joslin, Sue Barrett, or Harriet Hutchins any Monday between 9:00am-12:00pm