Friday, September 26, 2014

Cobras on the Bike Path of Life: Finding Hope in a Stranger's Arms



"One has not only an ability to perceive the world, but an ability to alter one's perception of it; more simply, one can change things by the manner in which one looks at them."  
Tom Robbins

Sometimes a rope is just a rope


One of my master yoga teachers, Joseph LePage, likes to illustrate a certain teaching on reactivity that goes like this.  If, in the process of daily life, you come across a long slender, curved, dark shape on the ground, you might jump.  Your primitive brain screams “danger” and then of course you will react quickly and leap away from the potentially dangerous snake on your path.  But then the snake turns out to be a rope. And then he laughs and says, “Sometimes a rope is just a rope.” My dear yogi friend Nancy, also present at this training, later sends me multiple you tube videos and photographs of all sorts of surprising and startling snakes. Always with the message, “and sometimes a rope is really a snake, especially in Tucson.”  We like to laugh about this a lot because being denizens of the desert we actually do see a lot of critters on a regular basis, including many snakes both venomous and non-venomous. 

I see around 50 snakes most years, so for me learning to quickly make the assessment of rope or snake can be life-saving.  I have sometimes leapt twenty feet straight up in the air when coming across a well-camouflaged rattlesnake on the path just inches away.  I can scream like a girl, and sometimes do. But I always try to keep a little dignity around the rope vs. snake conundrum. There are still plenty of ropes in my life. 

I was recently in Colorado helping my daughter Isabella to get settled in her new home as she prepared for veterinary school.  During the two weeks I was there, I spent most days zipping along Ft. Collin’s many dedicated paths on a bike my son Jackson made, practical, light, and perfect for exploring.  These paths weave through Ft. Collins and even into neighboring towns creating perfect connectivity for the many citizens who wish to eschew cars entirely and ride or walk everywhere:  school, work, shopping, micro-breweries, farmer’s markets and more.  

One morning, Isabella and I were happily zipping along the Spring Creek Trail, a beautiful wooded trail flanked by a large stream and many wildflowers, set among occasional subdivisions and apartment complexes.   She was lumbering along behind on our old trusty purple steed, 35 pounds of comfortable, yet heavy bicycle.

All of a sudden I saw it.  There was a large black snake, head lifted in a menacing position.  I screeched to a halt and started jumping and waving to my daughter,  “Stop, stop, stop, snake, snake, snake.”  It’s important to relate here that I would have happily stopped for any snake, just to check it out and take a photo, but in this instance I was filled with fear and became shaky with a huge infusion of adrenaline. 

Trusting our intuition can keep us safe


I crept closer and decided that, no matter how improbable that a cobra could in northern Colorado, this was indeed the real deal.  Other bikers stopped on the path and we mutually wondered what was the best course of action.  It was decided that this was probably a release or even escape of someone who kept (illegal) exotic reptiles and it was best to call the police, lest someone be fatally bitten.  We were told by the police dispatcher to contact the animal control authorities and then while getting stuck in an infuriating loop of button pressing and automated messages, continued to assess the situation.


 
A number of people passed, with great fear and trepidation, carefully walking past on the far side of the track.  A mother with two young children appeared positively panicked.  Finally, when there were only three of us left, the man next to us said, “Hmmm, is it really real?”  We admitted that we had entertained that idea but when I said, “Who wants to test this theory?”  No one volunteered.  We considered some more. Discussed it with care.  Finally he tossed a small pebble in the direction of the snake, we smiled with huge relief, as it hadn’t moved. The next test was to hit the snake directly, and again, we looked at each other with a lot of anxiety.  Could we trust our own perceptions?  It looked so real.  It’s texture perfect. Not knowing the habits of Indian Cobras we hesitated.  Finally, backing up and holding breath, we tossed another larger rock and laughed hilariously when it bounced off the rubber back. 

Our perceptions can be wrong


Isabella picked up the snake and stuffed it into her backpack. We didn’t want anyone else to get a scare, and noted how grateful we were that no authorities had responded.  As we prepared to ride away, two small heads popped up on the play structure in the back yard we were near and said “You’re not taking it are you?”  We had been pranked so thoroughly and so well that we opted to give it back and tossed it to the young boys waiting.
 
Feeling sheepish but happy



And then began a long and ongoing conversation about the accuracy of our perceptions, the nature of reality, and the power of fear.  The thing is, we both really love seeing snakes in our world, whether docile or venomous. We find that they are fascinating creatures worthy of our attention, admiration, and even protection. We had both studied herpetology both formally and informally and thought we had a grasp on all things snakey.  Those attitudes colored this meeting to such a degree that we were unable to see the naked truth in front of us.  Our certainty that an impossible cobra could land on a bike path in the temperate US was strong enough to then color the perceptions of everyone we met as their fear became provoked in such a novel way.  How often do we let our self be swayed by our own longings and cravings, projecting our desires onto the world, seeing only what we want to see? Sometimes a rope is just a rope, or in this case, a very realistic toy but still a fake. 

The Real Deal

Within another 20 minutes we came across a truly real and fully alive 3 foot long Gopher Snake crossing our path. We reveled in the imperfections and beauty of this animal and felt amazement once again, at how we duped ourselves with excitement and fear.

Later, I had a chance to test again my perceptions and intuition within the dominant culture of fear we inhabit, deciding once again, is it a snake or is it a rope?  It was early evening on the Poudre Trail bike path, a marvelous trail through the endless green of forests and streams leading to the eastern edge of Ft. Collins.  I had felt the need to be alone and asked Isabella to meet me later.  I sat on a bench by a pond and proceeded to sob my heart out.  I had been overcome with surprising grief over a relationship that had ended recently, and while I tried to be discreet, in the end, I was found out.  I saw a young man in jeans and a t-shirt ride by on his bike and then turn back towards me.  He got off his bike and said to me “Would you like a hug?”  And in that moment the decades of “Beware of Strange Men” conditioning flashed through me and just as quickly dissipated as I checked my intuition and knew that all was well.  I nodded yes, and he came over and gave me a long gentle hug that felt sweet and safe, saying, “You look as if you feel the way I do”.  Do you know the experience of being so abjectly sad that having even a little sympathy or a single touch, can loose the floodgates of your misery?  This is what happened for me as I sobbed in a stranger’s arms.  Eventually, I said “thank you, thank you, thank you.”  He asked if I wanted to talk and when I said no, he hopped on his bike and road away.  It was a moment of pure golden human interaction at it’s best and in that instant my grief was released and I knew that, with people such as this inhabiting my world, every single thing would be ok.


Why not?

I am left pondering a number of questions:  What if we all became more adept at determining what is a snake and what is a rope on our daily paths?  What if, instead of choosing fear, we choose instead curiosity, trust and faith?  Where do we allow ourselves to be unconsciously subverted to the darkness of our collective human experiences instead of being drawn into the light?  How can one person make a difference for another person by simply providing loving presence? 

As you go about your day, traveling the roads, sidewalks, phone lines, and bike paths of your life I encourage you to invoke your perception wisely, choose your reality carefully, and trust your intuition completely.

Namaste,

Felicia








Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Learning to Let Go: Finding Hope in an Empty Nest

     
Isabella and her college friends jumping for joy.

     After a full 28 years of intensively parenting three children (and being involved with a number of their associates) I find that I have worked myself out of a job. One might argue that this is generally a good thing as the work was done well enough  (exceeds expectations!) that the task was completed generally at or above company standards and therefore my services are no longer needed.  Yes, yes I understand that I will be kept on as a private consultant, perhaps into perpetuity, but we all know how that goes.  Working for yourself is filled with pitfalls.  But perhaps there are bonuses too? 

     I’ve been thinking about the whole concept of an empty nest and wondering about our cultural obsession with getting the kiddos out of the house into a successful life of independence and consumerism as soon as possible.  Since the beginning of time families have lived together in groups that included (but were not limited to) parents, children, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins and those orphan friends with “noone”.  While this model still holds in many developed countries we in the USA are bombarded with stories of kids who left home, came back, left home, came back and then stayed, much to their parents chagrin, sometimes needing a professional to kick the kid out again.  See the Sarah Jessica Parker movie about this very phenomena “Failure to Launch” for a sad commentary about our relationships with young adult children.  This fear of our progeny willfully refusing to become productive adults could be understandable if one's adorable young adult is irresponsible, disrespectful, unable to hold down a job or finish a degree program whilst you slog away supporting him or her in the manner they have come to expect.  It’s difficult to see a 6’ tall twenty something lying on the couch calling to mom or dad for Doritos and Coke who says “I’ll do it later” when asked about job searches and graduate school, not to mention household chores and family responsibilities.

     But what about families where this is not what is actually happening?  In my case my lovely middle child, Isabella, flew away to college at age 18 and then, having graduated (brag alert!) Cum Laude with her Biology degree, promptly came back home to perch in our roost.  I was ecstatic!  I still am.  She functions as a full adult in our household and while working 40 or more hours a week at a demanding emergency Veterinary clinic, manages to follow her own interests in both riding and training horses, helps with all household chores with absolutely no complaint, will do the grocery shopping,  and other necessary tasks and pays her way fully. She is a delightful companion enjoying many of the same activities that I do, and we find much to discuss about our worlds, both inner and outer on a daily basis. We were talking about her future as a (probable) Veterinarian the other day and I said to her “ I could imagine us living together for a very long time, it’s so easy and such a pleasure. But I suspect it’s not what’s best for your development right now.”  She replied saying “I feel the same way, and I think you’re right.”  And there it is.

     As blissful as living with her is, our tenure as compatible intergenerational roommates will be ending soon as she takes off for Veterinary School in Colorado and forges a household of her own.

     My eighteen- year -old Finian, has a different star in our family constellation. Although he just graduated from high school in May, this child has clearly taken on the role of “man of the house.”   (And I’m not going to unpack that phrase right now, let’s just take it at face value.)  More and more I see him taking on the essential tasks of a semi-rural householder, horse care, gardening,  and household maintenance and repair often unasked, and completed to increasing higher standards.  He’s the best at diagnosing mechanical issues and has been so helpful at problem solving around a multitude of mysterious swimming pool chemicals.  His expertise at all things computer and remote is unparalleled and I shudder to think how I will manage without him. Many emergency calls will be placed asking for how to use the x-box/dvd player I imagine.  Yes, I can also imagine a life where he were to live here too.  We get along that well.  Yet, 18 is a wonderful time to spread your wings and experience the world in all of it’s confusion and all of it’s wonder.  I want that for him. I want him to get his fill of the wild and wonderful freedom in the greater universe and then hope springs eternal in this mother’s heart that he may one day return and settle nearby.

     Beyond my children’s abilities to function as budding adults in their own right, is our essential deep-running familial connection.  As one who has long ascribed to attachment-parenting theory, I find that I enjoy my children, our conversations, our activities, and our lives together.  Meeting their needs as babies, children and now young adults, has been a wonderful privilege and feels like nothing as much as pure pleasure. They truly give as much as they have received and I am grateful for their gifts and the truth that we really really like each other as people.


     Even so, I find that all of my children (Jackson, the eldest having left 7 years ago) are departing to continue their growth as independent adults and this leaves me with an empty nest, as much as I may long for it ever to be filled by these fascinating people that I have come to love with such devotion and joy.  What to do? Find hope and inspiration in an entirely new way of living. While I genuinely support the idea of intergenerational living broadly, and for myself and my children specifically, this is not our path at the moment. 

      For me, living alone for the first time in almost three decades will be a new experience.  I enter into it with both trepidation and excitement.   There are of course the smaller joys:  those dishes I wash will only be mine. That laundry isn’t likely to pile up so fast.  Skinny-dipping in my backyard pool is now possible, I’m not saying it’s probable, but I could and isn’t that fun to think about? Plans can be made without many texts sent first to see who is going to be where and when. But there is also a larger view.  Knowing I have a passing grade on raising the kiddos, can I now relax into feeding the interests and passions that I’ve put on hold lo these many years?  Without curfews to monitor, food to buy and prepare and keeping track of college applications, transportation needs and the daily delightful diversions of living with people I find so inherently interesting,  will I  make more time to write and to reflect?   To at last take that long-term trip around the world?  And lastly now that I am not actively caring for persons in my own home will this free more energy to care for those who live in other places, near and far? 

     The premise of this blog is to explore how one person can make a difference in the world.  I posit that by raising three caring, connected, ethical, hard-working, and compassionate human beings that I may have made a difference as they go out into the world and do their work.  I hope to do more myself though.  I’m not exactly sure how this will come about, but I love this quote from Helen Keller:

"I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do."

     This coming year will be a year of exploration with many trials and error no doubt.  I’m choosing to enter into this new stage of life with optimism and a willingness to make mistakes. To try and fail and try again.  While I’m not certain what’s next I know that I am surrounded and supported by a world that is interesting, lovely and filled with good-hearted people to walk with me on my journey. I am very interested in the journeys of others who have traveled through their own “empty -nest” periods and while I have found a number of blogs devoted solely to this life-stage, I’m more interested in stories from the street.  I would love to hear yours!

What are you doing to make a difference for the world?  One small thing.  Please continue to send me your ideas and thoughts.

Namaste,

Felicia






Monday, July 21, 2014

A Life-time of Dedication to Art: Finding Hope in Sharing Music with the World

“Music is ... A higher revelation than all Wisdom & Philosophy” 
― Ludwig van Beethoven


"Beautiful music is the art of the prophets that can calm the agitations of the soul; it is one of the most magnificent and delightful presents God has given us."

-Martin Luther



Judi Strayer at her Tucson home.

Throughout my life I have had a number of role models for living a service oriented life.   I was told in many ways from my earliest years that serving others was one of the very most important acts I could undertake.  I witnessed my parents and grandparents acting for the good of others in their communities and then later found caring teachers and mentors who also modeled self-less service as a worldview as well as a way of life.

As a teen and then later as an adult I propelled myself into the world of active volunteering in numerous ways. Through the years I have served in nursing homes, sheltered workshops, for animal welfare and rescue organizations, with philanthropy organizations, as a midwife and as a parent of three children I did what a parents often do and became the team-mom, the girl scout leader, the soccer coach.  Now I give my time in the areas that feel so very nourishing that I might pay to participate.  It’s that easy!  Working with special need children and veterans as a horse-handler at TROT (Therapeutic Riding of Tucson) or monitoring transects for predator tracks with Sky Island Alliance fit my interests and abilities so well that it is pure pleasure to do so.

I once had a teacher in my yoga teacher- training program who said “there is no truly altruistic or selfless act”.  I argued vehemently about that initially but over time I realized that this is probably true.   If I am “serving” whether through paid work or through volunteering, ostensibly to care for others, what do I get from this?  A lot.  And when I speak with those I interview for this blog everyone agrees.  Serving then benefits us all in countless ways hard to quantify or even to qualify.    

I have found that while some, participate by “serving on the side”, others have made it their path, whole and complete.  There are those who live to serve and find serving to be the greatest meaning of their lives.

Judi Strayer of Tucson is one such person. I first met her over eleven years ago when my daughter Isabella picked up the violin as her first instrument and Judi became her teacher.  Through the years our relationship with Judi has grown and she has come to feel like an important part of our family constellation. I have always been taken with her consistently calm, peaceful  and accepting manner and through many conversations over the years have come to know her as a friend as well as my daughter’s esteemed mentor and teacher.

Judi, a second generation American, was raised in the Hood River area of Oregon in a small community of European immigrants who homesteaded there.  Her Finnish and Swiss-German grandparents had a large part in developing the Columbia River area as well as Portland, OR.  Her family's name can be seen imprinted on many Portland sidewalks left over from the time they were actively helping to build that city. Part of a tightly knit Presbyterian church community Judi grew up spending Sundays at church.  She babysat in the church nursery during services and hung out in the youth group. Her mother was a talented singer and pianist and it was through her that Judi learned to love music and performing.  Her mother was so gifted that she was given the opportunity of studying and singing abroad while Judi and her siblings were small.  She refused the opportunity not wanting to leave her young children.  Judi remembers that while growing up she thought that a house was not a real home unless it had a piano and was filled with music.  She has hours of stories to tell about her highly interesting Finnish/Swiss family and I could write pages. Suffice it to say that her family has clearly had a long and colorful history of both music and of service to their communities. “We’re pushy people, if you see something you want done, you go ahead and do it,  you do what you can”.  And being raised in this manner clearly yielded good results.


Her mother, Viola, and her aunt Margerite, along with another community member formed a musical trio called “Ladies of Note” who performed popular and classical music thorough out the Hood River area. Her aunt Dorothy was Judi’s first violin teacher.  Judi learned to read music before reading books and because her eyesight was poor when she was small she was only allowed to read once a week at the library. She started at the A's  in the children’s section and then would read as many books as possible before going home.

Saguaro Highschool String Orchestra

After attending The University of Portland and getting her Music Education degree she moved to Tucson in 1961 where she met and married her husband Doug at what she jokingly referred to as First Lien and Theft (First Loan and Thrift) a local Savings and Loan that preyed on the impoverished just as payday loan shops to today. She was admitted to the University of Arizona for graduate school with a valuable out-of-state tuition waiver in exchange for playing for the school orchestra. However, she was already professionally employed by the Tucson Symphony, and she was told by the UA to quite the TS because of ongoing rivalry. Judi refused and instead, applied to TUSD (Tucson Unified School District) for a teaching job. She found that the administrators were incredulous that she was applying for a secondary music teaching position. They did not believe that a woman was capable of directing a high school orchestra. She realized that she was living in the dark ages but instead of crumpling said “those were fighting words”! And this indomitable spirit truly marks everything Judi does.


In 1962 right after their marriage, Doug was drafted and they moved to Arlington, VA where he worked as an army stenographer in White House communications. Judi remembers the intensity of being in DC during the height of the cold war and when Kennedy was shot. She and Doug have been married 53 years in June.  After living in several locations Judi and her family returned to Tucson in 1974 and she was hired on full time to teach music and English in TUSD schools. Although Judi had a bumpy beginning with TUSD she went on to have a long and fruitful career leading thousands of children and teenagers to the bottomless well of music and all it brings. Judi has led orchestras in a number of different schools as well as continually teaching private students. She has working knowledge of every orchestral instrument, and has mastered all of the string instruments, but her favorite remains the violin.  She has taught many lessons to her students with music serving as a vehicle to teach the values of perseverance, of hard work, and believing in something greater than yourself.  “You can’t fail if you try – the only failure is doing nothing – not  trying.”  Judi has said this to her students for decades. A highlight of her musical education career was taking a full orchestra of Tucson students to Taiwan in 1984 for a musical exchange. In addition to teaching Judi has had a full career professionally performing with many local orchestras and groups including the Tucson Pops Orchestra,  The Tucson Symphony Orchestra, The Civic Orchestra, Arizona Opera, and many more.  
Opening Minds through Art (OMA) in Tucson

After retiring in 1997 Judi has turned her attention to other things. I’ve noticed that whatever she does, she does 500%.  She has worked as a volunteer at the University Medical Center during a number of jobs that aren't very appealing but are very necessary. These include every possible sort of paperwork organization, cataloging, filing, organizing the bio-hazard reports and more. Often working on tasks that no one else will touch Judi acknowledges that cuddling babies, and working with direct patient care could be more interesting but she is dedicated to performing work that others eschew and gets satisfaction from completing these tasks. She also enjoys her occasional stints at the reception desk directing visitors to the places and resources they are seeking.

In addition to her hospital work, during the past two years she has worked on the Arizona State Foster Care Board Review.  This is a volunteer position that requires stamina and a strong stomach. Judi and her compatriots on the board review the heart-breaking cases of children who have often fallen through the cracks and are at risk of perishing from neglect and apathy. They spend many hundreds of hours every year reading through the dense cases of individual children and then a full day every month  discussing them and making recommendations to the court.  Many know that our child welfare system is broken. Many fewer are doing anything at all to change it.  Judi and the other volunteers on 26 boards in the region are working doggedly to make sure that children do not languish in abusive and neglectful situations. There is a huge need for more volunteers in this area. And of course there is.  When I hear of the types of things she hears on a regular basis is it no wonder that most people might say “I care, but I could not listen to that level of tragedy.”  It’s a real downer.  But Judi Strayer continues to do her bit. I am in awe of her fortitude as well as her stamina. More so, her beautiful loving spirit and recognition that she still has so much to offer the world.

Back to the question of who volunteering really helps? According to Judi “ Most people who volunteer get as much out of it as they give. You get such positive feed back. They smile, they say thank you. At the hospital when I work the front desk you see all kinds of people, they struggle with language, some of them you have to take by the arm and lead them as they don’t know where to go in such a big place. But, they’re all very grateful, I find there are very few people who aren’t gracious.”  

When I asked about how tiring the foster care board must be she replied:  “We are not in touch with our deepest motivations. Sometimes I’d surely like to stay home and put my feet up and do nothing, but I find that if I do that then I feel worse for staying home and thinking about how I don’t feel good.  I don’t need the money, or need to be paid. I’m coming because I like to help and I know I can”

I believe that Judi is one of those people who will never stop caring about others, and most importantly, will continue to serve in whatever way she can. Question:  What is our duty to our fellow man?  The other beings that inhabit our planet?  The earth itself?  Is there something, anything, we can do, no matter how small it may seem?  I love this quote from Dr. Seuss: "To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world."


Namaste,

Felicia

Helpful Links From This Blog:

University Medical Center (UMC)

Superior Court Foster-Care Review Board Tucson, AZ  (FCRB)

Opening Minds Through Arts (OMA)  A program of TUSD to integrate music and art instruction with existing curriculum.
http://www.tusd1.org/contents/depart/oma/index.asp

TUSD Literacy Volunteer Program. Encouraging literacy in high-needs schools.
http://literacyconnects.org/readingseed/reading-seed-schools/tusd-schools-with-reading-seed/

















Thursday, March 20, 2014

Mail Me! Postcard Project: Finding Hope in Connecting with Strangers



“Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.” 
-Chief Seattle



“When we know ourselves to be connected to all others, acting compassionately is simply the natural thing to do. ” 
-Rachel Naomi Remen



Danube Jacobs at her happy place!


     It’s interesting to me that in our fast paced world where instantaneous communication allows us to be in contact with hundreds or even thousands more people than we ever could have previously with phone or postal mail, that we often feel more disconnected and lonely than ever. In spite of having almost 400 facebook “friends” I see many fewer people in person for truly meaningful, life-sustaining personal contact on a weekly, monthly or even yearly basis. I remember the days, not too far past, when I sent a birthday card to everyone I knew, and when I received them too. When long distance phone calls were treasured planned occurrences and not simply squeezed in as if an afterthought. How many of us still feel our hearts leap with joy when opening the mailbox and finding a hand-written letter?  Holding a large envelope addressed in familiar handwriting and then having the luscious sensation of anticipation is something I’m experiencing less and less. While I have to admit that I’ve slowly stopped writing those letters, becoming friends with Danube Jacobs is changing that for me.



     Danube is one of the most serene and self-assured women I have ever had the pleasure to meet.  She is also one of the most interesting and adventurous.  A Massachusetts native Danube wandered her way around the world until she landed at my dear friend Joan’s house (See Finding Hope  Joan Driedger Boldt) as a couch-surfer at the end of September.  After exploring southern Arizona she decided to call us home, a big change from Portland, Oregon where she last lived. 



     Currently, Danube works as a Licensed Chinese Medicine and Acupuncture Practitioner. Past jobs included journalism, ten years as a woodworker, and working as a wellness advisor on an international cruise ship.  If I were to describe her with only a few words I would use curious, open and warm.  These traits guided her, I believe, to creating a most unusual practice in her life and this practice or project continues to bear interesting fruit. 


Danube with Newari Woman in Nepal - another story gathered.


     Mail Me! Postcard Project (MM!) has a simple but elegant underpinning:  That is, Danube connects with unknown strangers by leaving hand-made postcards in various locations complete with a message that says  "Mail Me!  But first write or draw something about you, life, or whatever on the other side!" While traveling she leaves them all over the town she is in and then sees who responds to her invitation. MM! is truly a labor of love and her motivations for undertaking this form of connection are complex. “It’s not about getting as many as possible but connecting with a person who was in the same place I was.” Her project sprung out of a desire to receive mail and to hear stories. "Once I started to get my first postcards back, I felt such a warm and comforting sense of connection - to strangers. And most importantly, I realized that we are never completely independent as long as we eat food others have grown, wear clothes others made and got help or support along the way from others."



One of hundreds of postcards sent out (address no longer valid)



     So far she has received more than 400 postcards, but has left far more. Danube spends time and effort in creating unique one-of-a-kind postcards and adds the postage necessary for each one. Sometimes it takes an individual postcard so long to come back to her that postage has increased and she must pay the difference! She has received mail from all over the world and collects it at a postal box near where ever she currently lives. Her parents have also assisted her from time to time and still get mail on a regular basis from postcards she left long ago.
      

     The responses are as varied as the people who decide to write.  I saw intricate art, impossibly long and highly personal stories carefully fitted into the postcards tiny dimensions.  There were confessions, stories, declarations and often thanks for the act of reaching out.  “I’ve always been drawn to people’s stories. I did my undergrad work in journalism and creative writing and the writer in me loves storytelling.” These postcards often tell incredibly poignant stories and we wondered together about the act of putting one’s heart on paper and sending it to a stranger.  Danube has rarely met any of those who have sent her mail and even as she puts many of them on a website (see link below) for friends and family to enjoy, she does not list the website on the postcards themselves. She feels that these stories are meant to be shared and that the more stories that are captured the better.






     She told me a story of one woman who sent a postcard that had been left in Los Angeles but then kept her address and continued to send Danube a postcard from all of her travels including many overseas destinations. Coincidentally she received a postcard from someone she had dated in the past but who knew nothing of her project.




     She made an intentional choice to not contact any of the writers or to be available for contact from them and this is what makes it interesting, “People did this without getting anything back” she said.  Danube seems to approach this as a sacred practice and sees these postcards that come to her as blessings. People put so much time and effort into them that she makes an effort to be very present with their offerings. And besides  “I just love mail.”  Indeed Danube glows when talking about going to the post office. “There was always the sheer enjoyment of opening my mailbox and finding mail. The more postcards I left, the more I had that experience. It was like a magic trick – it worked! And I would read and wonder ‘who are they?  What’s happened to them since’.”   She feels she has something in common with every person who has picked up a postcard and believes in chance encounters and synchronicity.






     Danube applies this same curiosity to her Chinese Medicine practice and deftly elicits the story behind the story for her patients, of which I am happy to be one.  “In treating people, a huge part of everyone’s healing process is their story,” and learning that story is very much a part of her holistic approach. Story Telling, and I would add Story Listening, can be immensely empowering, or disempowering in the wrong hands.  How do we interact with our fellow humans in day-to-day interactions, whether friend or stranger? Do we carefully listen to what’s being said? Or are we busy filling in the blanks, judging, or wishing the conversation would end. I think this is one reason why her unique calling is so successful, people have a deep yearning to be seen, to be heard, to feel understood and Danube’s simple message of “mail me a postcard” allows that on a basic but powerful level.

     Danube plans on continuing her project whenever she travels – she has a policy to not leave postcards in the town she is currently living in – “I’ll do it the rest of my life, it’s not about the work, but in having souvenirs of where I’ve traveled.”
 
The Golden Post-Office Box Key to Magical Discovery

     She also has a few other ideas to reach out to others who would like to be heard. Danube would like to spend time in nursing homes learning stories of residents there. She feels that there are “captivating gems and treasures” waiting to be listened to, and recorded. Some of these stories haven’t been told, or maybe not in a very long time and although family members may be privy to some of the stories of their elders she has found that they come out differently when told to a stranger.  I found this to be true when listening to my grandmother’s recorded stories I was often trying to figure out “where was I?” and to sometimes reconcile what I remembered versus what she was saying. Danube is also interested in learning about Paper Bag People.  "Most paper bags have the name of the person who made it stamped on the bottom (see photo). I think of Warhol's Campbell soup cans, that they all look alike, but there is a unique individual behind each one. I collected about 50 different names and when I moved I didn't know what to do with them, so I sewed them together (like a quilt) and wrapped a good friend's present with them."
 
Nolan's Paper Bag

     How many of us feel comfortable talking to someone we have just met in a random situation? Stranger Danger!  We’ve been taught to be wary of those we do not know, who may appear or actually be different. We’ve been taught, “family matters most”. But what if we all reached out to others, strangers, with all of the love our hearts can muster, what if a world reached out?  Who would we be then? What could we create by simply listening, with great love and care, to each other’s stories with no hope of getting anything in return? Danube encourages us in this pursuit, "Don't be afraid to connect with a stranger, because every new friend was recently a stranger. We don't have to feel so alone, just because we don't 'know' those around us."

     Thanks to Danube for once again proving my thesis, that healing and reconciliation of the world’s ills happens one person at a time.

Until next time, 

Namaste

Felicia


The Mail Me A Postcard Website to see many more of Danube's postcards:  


Another website of interest called Post Secret, not related, but interesting on so many levels, as strangers are invited to divulge a secret they've never told anyone before.
http://Postsecret.com/

     

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

A Heart for the Voiceless: Finding Hope in Making Life Better for Animals Through Legislation



“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.”

-Mahatma Ghandi







     Although aspects of our culture have changed in the past century we have significant remnants from a time when many more of us were farmers, ranchers, and factory workers. We are now, for the most part, sophisticated and well informed.  But in many ways I might argue that we are still primal people operating from the most primitive portions of our brains.  We still seek excitement in ways that seem archaic and even a little weird.  Examples of this behavior include the national pastime where we gather in our homes with fatty foods and libations and watch tiny little men bashing their heads together on the big screen.  I’ve heard many explain that watching football and other sports is a way for us to get our “war needs” met in a safe way, at least for the spectators.  For boys to learn about manhood. To gather communally over shared purpose. Another example is our insatiable desire to make money quickly and without any significant work on our part.  Gambling in all its forms is as popular as chocolate and wine in a room full of women.  But when we look at our history of gambling on the animal world it’s time to wonder what purpose this serves in our collective memory and well -being.

     Until more recently in our history, many countries including the USA had legalized Cock Fighting, an ancient pastime.   This barbaric ritual consists of arming roosters, bred for the task, with razor sharp metal knives attached to their legs and then a fight to the bloody death.  Having had laying hens and their attendant roosters my entire adult life I am well aware of the war like qualities of some individual roosters.  On the other hand, many are simply sweet beta birds happy to have a pat from their caretaker and quietly go about their fathering and guard duties, peacefully.  What is the purpose of encouraging these gorgeous creatures to mutilate each other into exhaustion and then death?  Money. Dog fighting and Greyhound racing, still legal in many places, also exist to satisfy man’s appetite for excitement and money. This is where Arizonan Jamie Massey comes in.

Jamie Massey
     Jamie is a tall quiet man who loves live music, dancing and being with friends.  A former elementary school teacher, he is now retired.  Through the years He has become a passionate crusader to end violent animal sport in Arizona and has consulted in other states as well.  We had a conversation on his beautiful patio in Tucson and I learned about his work as an effective animal protection campaigner.

     His journey as an animal advocate began in 1979 when he moved into an 1100-acre ranch in East Texas.  It changed his life. His new home included 2 creeks, 7 ponds, 55 native trees, birds, wildflowers, raccoons, deer armadillos, coyotes, beavers and in this lush environment he developed a passion for wildlife but began to notice that most people didn’t share his new found love. At the local barber shop the question of the day would be: “what did you kill lately?” He noticed a burned out beavers lodge, and one night after a hunting incident, found a dead cow in the woods with a bullet hole, and a botched deer hunt ending with a buck that had to be corralled and then put down.  Jamie lived near a local ranch and when calves were sold he would hear them calling all night long while he slept, as they tried to bust out of the feedlot. These and other experiences led him to an epiphany of sorts as he began to understand his connection to the world and made a commitment to serve. “That’s when I became a vegetarian and decided to make a difference for animals and the environment. In college I read many books including those about Buddhism and realized we’re not separate. Not having a religious education, I think, helped me to figure things out on my own and that we’re not the great species and they (animals) are not here for us to exploit willy-nilly.  Many or even most vegetarians have a sensibility that it is wrong to eat meat, but I initially did it more so I could be consistent with my wildlife protection efforts.”

     We discussed the idea of defense mechanism; that is “we don’t often accept ideas that incriminate us. We have to come to a behavior through other means.  Most people do it (become vegetarian) through health and not thinking about ethics.  One of my fourth graders said something to me that moved me, I was criticizing all of the hunting that was going on and she said, ‘But Mr. Massey, you ordered the same thing for lunch that we all did. I saw you.’  And the truth was, I was using my mouth one moment to defend animals and the next moment to eat them. We’re all imperfect works in progress, and if you waited to be perfect until you speak out, you will wait a long time.” I think this is true, we all have inner hypocrisies and this is where we can offer grace to each other and ourselves.  There are many other ethical dilemmas that lend themselves to the discussion of creating a seamless approach and they are worthy discussions to have. When we discuss eating for the health of the planet and with consideration for the animals who feed us, Jamie said, “You don’t have to be vegan, but maybe have one vegetarian day a week.  Is life valuable or is life not valuable? Do what you can. We all live with the fact that our lives cause harm. Cars, air, we’re all culpable."  And this is what my project Finding Hope supports, simply doing what you feel moved to do and as you are able to make a difference.

     After Jamie moved to Phoenix in 1988 he met Larry Sunderland, a hunter whose dog stepped into a trap and was injured, as was Larry. He was cited for removing it due to an antiquated law still on the books and this is where Jamie became involved legislatively. He joined HALT: Help Abolish Leg-hold Traps, and the group was successful after two tries in 1994.  This law banned trapping on Arizona Public Lands, which consist of 78% of the state. Leg-hold trapping is still legal on private lands.

     In 1989 he met John Kromko in Phoenix who asked him to help with a hearing to ban cock fighting in Arizona. There was some legislative support for this effort but the law didn’t pass and they had learned a lot about lobbying.  Jamie started a group called Arizona Lobby for Animals (ALA) as well as several other ad hoc groups.  In 1996 ALA  waged four campaigns to ban cockfighting and all failed.  It was then decided to take the fight to the streets for a statewide ballot initiative. In 1998 cockfighting was banned in Arizona with a 2:1 vote and this measure was the first successful initiative whose focus was a domestic animal. This success was gratifying. “It was my claim to fame, and it gave me a source of pride.” Jamie had recruited 822 volunteers who turned in signatures, as well as hundreds more who donated money. 

     In 1999 Jamie went to Oklahoma to help with their campaign to ban cockfighting. He spent 4.5 months doing signature-gathering campaign and was the only non-Oklahoman to participate, contrary to some reports. After working there only 40% of the state knew it was legal, even though it had been heavily reported in the news. After some legal challenges the law was passed and the Oklahoma Supreme Court, finalized he law in 2003.

     Jamie next turned his attention to address the extremely high euthanasia rate in Arizona shelters and formed the group Euthanasia Reduction(ER). While many of us have become accustomed to the idea that all shelter animals are spayed or neutered before adoption this hasn’t always been the case, creating many unwanted animals.  The goals of ER were to create a three-pronged approach to this thorny issue statewide.


1) Enact a one cent sales tax on pet food.
2) Take that money to fund a commission to set up and fund projects to reduce the kill rate.  Provide statistics on shelter kill-rates and publicize them.
3) Take the Pima County policy to spay and neuter all pets before release, statewide.

     While the law was eventually passed it was changed significantly due to pressure from various animal related groups yet the third provision was enacted creating positive change.

     In 2008 Jamie began getting involved in Greyhound issues.  At that time there were over 700 dogs kept 23 hours per day, muzzled, with the lights off in tiny crates. “Not much of a life. Yes, they loved to race, but that was the only part of their life they loved.”  350+ females were routinely given steroid shots by untrained kenneled workers, violating federal law, to prevent them from going into estrus so they would not have down time from racing and also because it would create difficulties in the kennels. This method was used instead of segregating by gender or even spaying as track owners wanted to see who would be a champion. The worst dogs come to Tucson,  those who have a losing record, and who wouldn’t be bred so it doesn't make sense to use steroids. I asked Jamie who comes to these races?   The track owners make their money by simulcasting at local bars which attract many participants.  Jamie was reluctant to typecast a typical greyhound better saying it could be anyone. “ It’s something to do and most people don’t want to look at the consequences of their actions.”  Most protests against Greyhound racing don’t occur at tracks but at the establishments that promote it.


    
     I asked Jamie if he thought our practice of encouraging Greyhound adoptions by local groups was possibly deleterious for the dog’s well being in the end.  It’s been my personal feeling that interacting with the tracks in this way, might promote racing by providing a softer human-interest side of the story to the hard-core betting reality. If there were a problem with disposing of the losing dogs or those who are injured then would it be more likely that the practice would be banned? “The county used to euthanize dogs for $5.00, no questions asked. When the county stopped providing this service Greyhound rescue groups popped up.  Greyhound adoption does make the industry looks better. Meanwhile the homes to which the Greyhounds go do not adopt another dog at the shelter. The track requires silence from its adoptee groups when it comes to dog racing.” This is why most Greyhound adoption groups did not participate when the ban was taking place.

     South Tucson, where greyhound racing is still active, is a tiny municipality and only needed 77 valid signatures to get a ban on the ballot.  “So I immediately thought ‘let’s ban greyhound racing in South Tucson.’ I wasn’t sure if it would pass but it’s worth a try.” However, it was a state jurisdictional issue and Jamie was warned by a lawyer that  the courts would overturn it.  “What can I do to improve the lives of the dogs and lead them to closing,” Jamie asked himself.  He went to the UA Law Library and read the statutes. They refer to food, shelter, and veterinary care and he considered creating an ordinance related to all dogs in South Tucson and the following provisions were crafted.

1)   Dog can’t spend more than 18 hours crated. Which would lead to runs, water, shade and more people to care for dogs.
2)   Outlawing steroids. Over 100 area veterinarians approved of this tenant.
3)   Rejecting raw meat that is dead on arrival, diseased, dying and disabled for the Greyhounds diet.  Previously raw meat of these types was allowed in dog racing as opposed to cooked in commercial pet food.

     The law passed in 2008 by thirty votes and was never enforced.  The track began to transport dogs into Tucson to inject dogs with steroids to get around the law, therefore obeying the letter but not the spirit of the law. In October 30, 2013 South Tucson had an unadvertised council meeting during which they turned off the microphones and the court reporter was not able to complete the report thus ensuing any conversation would be off the record. They voted to overturn the law calling it an emergency measure so it could not be later overturned by referendum.  At this time the greyhounds are enduring the same difficult conditions they have for many years.

     What’s the future of greyhound racing in Arizona? Jamie feels that it would take a state -wide law and that doesn’t seem likely. The rescues want to care for as many as they can and if they speak up the track will not work with them.  At this time, I think it’s good to educate others about what is happening.  Maybe with more caring citizens aboard a law can be passed in the future.

     Jamie was last working with others to ban puppy mill puppy purchases at local pet stores in the city of Tucson. Currently there are at least 27 pet-stores in Tucson who do not sell puppies or kittens so selling these unfortunate beings is not necessary for economic health.  Jamie, working with Steve Kozachik, a local city council member, is getting close to banning these sales in Tucson. Mr. Kozachik expects to take it to the city council in February and have a public hearing in March. 

      I asked Jamie if he had any parting words for my readers. " I understand how people can fail to try to do something big, but small is okay. Many of us have our wills beaten down each time we fail to do something we know we should or we do something we know we shouldn't, so why bother when it will come to naught? Doing small things builds one's will power and then allows one to do the bigger things. Treat your will like any muscle that you want to get stronger. There are so many ways we can help create a better world for animals... do the small things. For example find a vegetarian dish you like or add healthy and humane foods to your diet. Go to a vegetarian restaurant once a week. What's been nagging at you to do?  Do that."

Jamie and friend Laura Vinyard 

     There are a multitude of ways to make our world a better place. I am so honored to be learning about individuals like Jamie and groups who have a passion for doing that one thing that matters to them, and hence for the rest of us.  Please keep writing and sending me your stories.

Namaste,

Felicia



Related Links:

The Humane Society of Southern Arizona

Information on the puppy-mill sales ban in Tucson


To learn more about Greyhound adoptions


To learn more about cock-fighting